Years ago in 2008 when my ex was dating his current wife, she was really nice to me and my kids. Granted, I did not see her that often and my ex was always a much better father when he had an audience to play to, so I welcomed the new audience with open arms. She even wanted to meet with me to deal with our “blended family” situation. We met for dinner and she didn’t eat, but she downed a few glasses of wine while our children played at McDonald’s across the street with my ex. I thought maybe she was nervous or something. She eventually blurted out that she wanted to make sure there was no chance left of my ex and I getting back together. The thought made me nauseous. It took everything I had to not vomit all over the table first and then start laughing hysterically after.
After taking a few deep breaths, i was able to regain my composure and answer the question strategically. On one hand, I wanted to be completely honest about what an absolute jerk he was; but on the other hand I knew that having him in another relationship would keep him from stalking me and invading my life. I was torn between the conflicting views and finally said that he was a good person, but we just brought out the worst in each other. In retrospect, I am thinking that I probably should have told both of them that I was a lesbian.
After that dinner, she acted like my best friend. She offered to watch my children anytime I needed to have some time to go out. Of course I did not actually trust her, so i never took her up on that offer. She spent a lot of time telling me about her “Jerry Springer” life. She had 2 year old and 6 year old sons from 2 different men that she had not married. Apparently, both of these men were crazy, abusive, alcoholics and deadbeat dads. I sort of felt sorry for her, but my red flag meter was on full blast every time she spoke. A month or so into this, she explained to me that the Guardian Ad Litem assigned to her case would like to talk to me about her and her parenting. I agreed, though found it odd that they would even want to talk with someone who had spent less than 5 hours total with her, most of which without the children around.
After the interview, things started to get worse at my ex’s house. The kids started complaining about their step-mom screaming, yelling and swearing all the time; even kicking them out with their dad on some weekends. Towards the end of 2008, she forwarded me Karen Glassman’s GAL report.
In this report, the father had made allegations of alcohol abuse, physical abuse and possible psychiatric issues related to a thyroid condition. To back his concerns there were seven 3rd party witnesses that testified to her verbal and physical abuse as well as her drinking issues. There was also a video tape of an exchange with the other father that showed this woman yelling obscenities, striking the father, and threatening that he would never see his son again. The whole scene went on for 20 minutes in front of 6 children; including the 2 year old being carried by my ex right smack in the center of all the conflict. Karen Glassman refused to look at this video. She also went very far to twist words and take parts of the interviews out of context to slam the father. For example, a realtor friend of the fathers had commented that he had been hurt and devastated by the mother with regards to her physical and emotional abuse; she claimed that he was very protective of his son. This was twisted to say, “He is an absolute wreck, and can’t even put his son down for a minute.”
So, of course, this mother turned around and filed the same allegations against the father about alcohol abuse and psychiatric issues. The only people that shared the same sentiment regarding the father, was the mother’s mom and dad. There were no 3rd party witnesses to back any of her allegations. Furthermore, the father had a number of character witnesses and friends that talked about his gentle nature and responsible actions. I also found it interesting that the father had looked into my ex’s background and found his history of domestic violence. He also looked over our public divorce records and saw the accounts of violence towards my children. Despite these concerns being brought to her attention, Karen Glassman did not look into any of the. Furthermore, she did not even ask me about the history of domestic violence, or physical harm to the kids…or why our parenting plan specifically states that my ex cannot spank or strike the children. Additionally, the other father had filed a report with CPS only 6 months earlier when his 6 year old son showed up at an exchange with a bloody fat lip, claiming that his stepdad (my ex) had punched him in the mouth. When it was finally investigated by RPS (Referrer Prosecution Services), the child had changed his story and said he accidentally hit it on a water bottle. Because of course, he just forgot…right.
What Karen Glassman did with the whole CPS thing is purely insane. Even though the father she was investigating did not make the report to CPS, but was later called and interviewed by CPS; she ended up saying that he had conspired with the other father to persuade him to call CPS. Absolutely crazy. I think the person that most needed the psych eval was the GAL. She has clearly been reading to many Grisham novels and is somewhere between disillusionment and full blown psychosis.
Her psychic state was even more evident in the Recommendations she made to the court. Even with her obvious theory-first-concoct-evidence-to-back-it approach, there was no credible testimony or proof that there was anything wrong with the father. Yet, her recommendations were as follows (note the mother’s classy explanations in brackets when she sent these to me):
#1. Child should reside with the mother the majority of the time.
#2. Father’s visits with childshould remain as they are currently scheduled (from noon to five PM every other Saturday and Sunday) until all of the Court Ordered services are complete.
#5. Father should access the age appropriate S.T.E.P. parenting class.
#6. Father’s substance abuse evaluation did not include collateral contacts; the Court may order the evaluation be done again usingmother as a collateral contact and providing the evaluator with a copy of the GAL report and any other collateral contacts the evaluator requires.
#7. Father should comply with all and any recommendations resulting from the substance abuse evaluation.
#8. (My personal favorite!) Father should access a psychological evaluation…and comply with all and any recommendations resulting from the evaluation. The GAL report will be provided to the evaluator. (Can you say wack-job??)
#9. Father shall provide mother, her Attorney and the GAL if the GAL is still involved in this matter, with the results of all and any completed evaluations.
#10. (Close runner up for favorite!) Father should access mental health counseling as soon as possible with a WA state licensed mental health therapist and remain in counseling until the therapist concludes counseling is no longer necessary.
#13. Father should no longer involve himself in the concerns of mother or any other prior or current relationship regarding mother.
When this finally went to trial, the GAL also added to her recommendations that the father could only have supervised visitations until the psych eval was complete. As the father continued to attempt to schedule supervised visitations, the mother simply disagreed with or would not comply with any of the supervisors that he chose. After a year of trying, the GAL then ordered that he could not even have supervised visits until he completed a full psych eval.
Almost 2 years had passed since this father had seen his son before the psych eval came back. The psych eval was interesting, to say the least. A few quotes from it were:
“This psychological assessment is more troubling than many others in the sense that the allegations againstFather appear to be a mirror of his concerns about Mother. In fact, the pattern is one of Father makingallegations, e.g., physical and emotional abuse, problematic drinking, financial irresponsibility, followed by similar accusations directed toward Father. Of course, such allegations are
not mutually exclusive. In all likelihood, though, one parent is telling the truth and the other is not.
The GAL did not come to any conclusions regarding the most serious allegations. This is true with respect to both parents. The GAL’s primary concern seems to be one of perceived abusive use of conflict on Father’s part, especially his drawing of Father2 into the conflict, with subsequent CPS involvement. The problem with this approach, as far as this psychological assessment, is that it does not really offer anything at all about the major allegations of physical/emotional abuse and alcohol/drug addiction.
First, no independent evidence is presented suggesting a pattern of the behaviors alleged by Mother. The GAL talked with Mother’s first husband(no children). I wish she would have conferred with PastGirlfriend, with whom Father lived for about five years. There are no independent witnesses (direct observation) to the problematic behaviors alleged by Mother, e.g., police reports (with comments/observations about Father instead), arrests (e.g. domestic violence or DUI), firings for cause, on-going interpersonal difficulties (other than with Mother). More than anything else, the psychological testing reveals that Father is both dependent and compulsive. On the one hand, he is not the kind of person who tends to create conflict. Generally speaking, Father seems to subordinate
his desires. On the other, he can’t let go (compulsive) when he is pursuing what he thinks is right.
In contrast to the lack of a pattern of problematic behavior on Father’s part, I do perceive a pattern of problematic relationships with Mother. Granted, this is not a psychological assessment of Mother. However, Father’s credibility must be assessed relative to Mother’s.
Mother may aver that each of her accusers has an ax to grind. For my part, that is more difficult to discern with respect to the real estate agent and the neighbors. In fact, their accounts of Jennifer’s volatility are consistent with what is described by Father2 (especially the August 2009 incident), Charlene as of July, 2010, and with the separate incidents involving Father’s mother and aunt. I am generally not inclined to give much weight to those who may hold a grudge or are family members. The point is that there is a pattern here and it is consistent in showing Mother’s volatility. Father’s mother was a Salvation Army minister. She may be lying. I am inclined to believe her. Simply put, Mother’s credibility is suspect.
Father may have engaged in abusive use of conflict. The CPS worker did not substantiate Father2’s concerns and concluded that Father was inappropriately injecting himself into the situation. A more benign interpretation of this is that Father was compulsive in establishing the pattern of Jennifer’s volatility. From my perspective, Mother’s allegations regarding Bryan’s abuse and alcohol/drug dependent behaviors were much more serious than the problem with abusive use of conflict. If proven, they were much more deserving of .191 Restrictions. There remains nosubstantial evidence to support them outside of Jennifer’s allegations.
Two years down the road, and Father still has not seen his son. This psychological assessment finds no basis for .191 restrictions on parenting. More than anything else,
Father comes across as trusting and somewhat naïve. This does not constitute an emotional impairment. ”
For the hearing that ensued months after this psych assessment came back, Judge Castleberry still had some harsh criticisms of the father. The GAL did not change her position or even try to correct her obvious mistakes years earlier. In fact, she simply worked in concert with the mother and the mother’s attorney to try and discredit this experienced psychiatrist. They went so far as to steal some confidential patient notes from the files of a dead therapist that had seen the father more than 5 years earlier. In the notes it apparently showed that the father had been prescribed an SSRI, that he took 2 pills of before he discontinued.
What a sham.
Family Court Circus 
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